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This is a FUN episode! Today, I’m exploring some psychological theories behind some of the most popular sexual fantasies. It’s more playful than last week’s episode of part 1, but I highly recommend you watch that video here if you haven’t already so that you can follow along better with this one. And I strongly suggest you watch/listen along with the video version rather than audio by clicking here.

Here are a few of the fantasies I cover on this podcast:

1.Rape Fantasies

2.S&M

3.Master/Slave

4.Diapered & Babied

5.Asphyxiation

6.Golden/Brown Showers

7.Group Sex – (men on men, women on women, cuckolding, orgies, etc.)

8.Incest

It’s important to educate yourself on where your fantasies come from and what they might mean, but be cautious not to use sexual fantasy interpretations as a one-size-fits-all explanation, as it depends on the person and their unique circumstances. But theories can bring us generalizations that can be helpful at times to explain commonalities among large groups. There will always be exceptions and outliers of course, as a myriad of factors influence our fantasies.

Some things to keep in mind as we delve into the deeper meanings of sexual fantasies:

  • All of the meanings depend on the person
  • The meaning, the thought, the feeling, or the behavior is subjective and not formulaic, and it doesn’t always mean the same thing
  • But I will say that if, as we go along, something strikes a cord in you or you find yourself smiling or laughing, that’s probably your internal needle saying, hey! I find some truth to this! 
  • There is another fact about this topic that we cannot escape, and that is as Esther Perel says, one person’s fantasy is another person’s turn-off. However, once you can educate yourself on what your own fantasies mean, it will grease the wheels in understanding what your partner’s fantasies might mean so that you can try to counteract any fear, shame, or embarrassment that you both might feel in revealing them. And in other cases, one might have no intention of actually acting upon a fantasy in real life. Fantasy and reality are two very different things in the world of human sexuality. I cannot stress that enough. Just because you fantasize about something does not necessarily mean you want to or would ever want to act on it.

 

 

(WATCH SHORT VIDEO HERE)

Welcome to Episode 20 of F*ck Like a Woman. Today, my online dating connoisseur is back to tell about a couple of her more surprising encounters, namely a couple of suitors’ preferences for coprophilia (a sexual affinity for defecation, i.e. poop) and homoeroticism (a same-sex erotic attraction, but not necessarily acted upon).

These are 2 distinct topics we discuss, and therefore have nothing to do with each other in this context so they shouldn’t be equated together. This conversation is both comical (when we need some relief – no pun intended), and an honest conversation about some common sexual fears, fantasies, and cultural stigmas that deserve some examination and understanding.

These are some of the points that we cover on this episode:

  • When attempts to share one’s fantasy with a potential lover go wrong, very wrong
  • One of the less common types of anal fantasies: defecating on another person and/or being defecated upon
  • Acknowledging that one person’s fantasy can, and often is, another person’s aversion
  • The common stigma of male homoeroticism, which seems to be a double standard for many women who accept female sexual fluidity, but reject any inclination men may have for other men
  • We talk about why that may be, and how it’s linked to masculinity as a whole
  • We also touch on a few of the underlying emotions that sexual fantasies are thought to counteract and how deeply rooted those beliefs about ourselves run

If you enjoyed this episode, share with a friend or leave a review on iTunes!

 

 

Welcome to Episode 11 of F*ck Like a Woman. Today, I talk to an online dating connoisseur, who recounts some fascinating insights about how dating apps have revolutionized sexual fantasies – one fantasy in particular: younger men and older women.

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Today, I interview Diana, who is what I would consider a connoisseur of online dating. She has not only been active for the better part of 7 years on just about every dating app there is, but she was going on as many as 3 to 4 dates per week with nearly every category or type of guy out there just to make sure she wasn’t overlooking potential matches. And by category, I mean age group, race, income level, body shape, hobbies and interests, nerdy/geeky/panty-droppers, you name it.

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She and I candidly discuss these topics and more:

  • Why younger men want to date older women
  • Pros and cons of younger men pursuing older women
  • Exploring sexual fantasies with online dating
  • Social standards that deter older men from wanting to date women in their age group
  • The perils of how both men and women think about our “biological clock”
  • The idea of settling and “trading in” your partner for a newer model

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I don’t know about you guys, but this was both fascinating and hilarious at the same time. A few things I wanted to touch on before we wrap up the show is that I am of the mind that if you can imagine it exists out there, it already does or you can create it. That goes for just a about everything, but in this case, romantic companionship. There are fundamental human behaviors and emotions that are inextricably part of our very nature so the trials of love will be part of any courtship, but with the right curious mindset, by improving our relational self-awareness, and with intentional practice on our shortcomings, it is possible to attract and grow a romantic relationship which might have only begun with the seeds of possibility, into something fulfilling, interesting, long-lasting, and satisfying. However, the mystery and omnipotence of the universe is always at play, reminding us that we do not choose love, love chooses us. The more we resist what is, rather than being at peace with it, as Diana has come to find, the greater the resistance is mirrored back to us. In the end, the best we can do is spend time with the ones we already love, including ourselves, and to bask in the gratitude we have for the moment, for the overlooked joys we miss when we mistakenly forget about our own mortality. Have a beautiful week everyone, and I hope you find as much humor in your dating life as Diana has found in her quest for love. See you next time.