Welcome to Episode 19 of F*ck Like a Woman. Today’s episode is another erotic story about a hot college student named Russ who finally hooked up with his sexy gym crush late one night after a sweaty workout.

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Russ was a young college student who always made time for a late night workout after studying and working all day. His apartment complex had a 24 hour gym so he was usually there by midnight and exercising alone, which he preferred, at least he thought he did.

After getting used to being in the gym alone, one night an attractive girl showed up a little after he did. When she walked in, their eyes locked and they both felt the electricity between them. Russ was already 2 miles in on the treadmill and a bit sweaty, but she didn’t seem to care. He smiled at her, and she smiled back. Russ couldn’t help but notice her enticing beauty and fit body. She started stretching and he hopped off the treadmill after he finished his warm up, got some water, and finished the rest of his routine. She started bending over and stretching, and he could not take his eyes off her. Not wanting to creep her out, Russ tried to keep his eyes to himself. She was still running on the treadmill when he was finished his workout, but they locked eyes again, smiled and said goodnight to each other as he walked out the door.

The next few nights at the gym were similar, the sexual tension was building and palpable. After seeing her there a third night in a row, he struck up a conversation in between pull-ups and stretching. They chatted casually for a few minutes before she told him she was 23. He suspected she wasn’t being truthful because she made it a point to state her age and she looked closer to 30, but Russ didn’t care. He’d always found the idea of older women exciting and sexy.

Russ didn’t make it back to the gym for another week. The next night he went, she was already there before she usually arrived. And once again, the gym was empty except for them. She approached him and confessed that she thought she would see him there the past few nights, sounding playfully disappointed.

After finishing his workout for the day, Russ hopped on the row machine to do his cool down cardio while she was on the treadmill… he was right behind her. She was wearing running shorts that showed a little too much ass, the kind that let her cheeks peek out at the bottom. Watching her ass go up and down from behind was just what he needed to finish up strong. He couldn’t keep his eyes off her. The deeper she got into her workout, the more sweaty she was, and the less he could look away. She caught him staring a couple times through the reflection of the window, but everytime she caught him staring, she would pull her shorts up a little higher each time, letting them creep up inside her ass more and more. It was like she was putting on a show just for him, knowing exactly what she was doing. Russ couldn’t help but cut his cardio short so he could shower and relieve himself. As he walked out the door he said goodnight, and she enticingly looked back at him with a lustful smile.

The next day, Russ got to the gym at the same time he usually did, but cut his routine short in hopes of catching another show from his new friend. Sure enough, there she was on the treadmill with short shorts that were skin tight and a tank top that hugged her curvy body perfectly. This time, he was a little closer behind her on the bike to see the tantalizing view of her running. Her body was soaked in sweat, and to his enjoyment it was completely arousing. She hopped off the treadmill with her back to him, and pulled her shorts up making them travel up further between her cheeks. She spread her legs, bent down to stretch, and Russ was mesmerized. He couldn’t look away, he didn’t want to, and he was pretty sure she didn’t want him to either. She stood up and looked back at him, smiling. At this point, he didn’t bother to hide the fact that he was staring because he didn’t care. She sat down on the machine next to him and started pedaling. When she sat down next to Russ, he breathed in deep, trying to catch a whiff of the beauty sitting next to him. Her scent was intoxicating. Her pheromones were driving him crazy, and she knew it. She looked over at him, then down in his lap, pausing to see what she was doing to him. Russ was so hard, bulging in his shorts. She looked up at him lustfully. She stretched her arms over her head, breathing harder, and making Russ melt wearing her tight tank top in that sexy pose. He couldn’t stop staring at her succulent chest, and she liked it. He took another deep breath through his nose and felt like he was getting high just off of her scent. Everything she did was mouthwatering. Russ thought to himself, “damn, this girl is as freaky as me.” He felt like an animal and she was his prey…

They finished their workout out at the same time and started talking, one conversation led to another, and she asked him to walk her up to her apartment so they could keep talking. On the walk to her place, she admitted that she found him very sexy and he told her the same. Russ complimented her gorgeous body, and emphasized how much he enjoyed working out behind her. She playfully asked if he liked her outfit and turned around showing off her perfectly shaped ass. Russ nodded in agreement, there were no words. They made it to her front door and she teasingly asked if he wanted to exercise again, hinting at what was coming next. She opened the door, pulled him in by his hand and Russ knew it was game time.

Stumbling inside her apartment, Russ pinned her against the wall holding her arms over her head and started kissing her, making out intensely. She walked backwards towards the couch without unlocking her lips from his and keeping her tongue in his mouth. He threw her down and pulled off her tight shorts, exposing her sexy red thong. Her body was still glistening with sweat, and he loved it. He pulled his shirt off and kissed his way down between her thighs. Russ lifted her legs up in the air and she pulled her legs in toward her torso. He kissed her hot pussy over her panties, they were soaked with all her sweet juices and her body’s sweat, which only made him harder. The smell of her wet pussy was incredibly delicious. He pulled her thong to the side so he could go down on her. He ate her pussy while he pulled down his shorts and started stroking himself. After enjoying her sweet taste for a few minutes, he got up, peeled her thong all the way off and slid inside of her. He thrust his cock in and out of her while she kept her legs pulled up and spread apart, stroking her clit. So aroused by all the foreplay, she moaned loudly with pleasure, finishing within a few minutes. Her loud moaning just kept turning him on even more… he felt himself growing inside of her. Finally, she ordered him to cum on her. Hearing her say that was so erotic that he uncontrollably erupted on her stomach. They laid there for a few minutes bathing in ecstasy and swimming in the passion of what had just happened.

Russ still looks back on that unforgettable night with excitement and pleasure, recalling specifically the way the smell of her sweat and pussy lit him up inside and made him want to devour her. He was so aroused by the scent that since that night, sometimes he makes it a specific request for his woman to not shower before he goes down on her. The smell of an aroused woman in her natural aromatic state is often one of the most powerful aphrodisiacs for many men, and to many women this turnon is incredibly sexually appealing to find in a partner. It can be powerfully freeing when a woman can relax and embrace this magnificent part of her feminine essence and especially when it drives her partner to a primal state of wanting to the point where she becomes irresistible.   

 

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That’s it for today everyone. Stay tuned for next week’s episode where I bring back my online dating connoisseur to tell us about a few of her more surprising moments, one of them having to do with an anal play fetish. See ya next time.

 

 

 

Welcome to Episode 9 of F*ck Like a Woman. Today I’ve got your erotic story about a couple’s first experience at a swinger’s club.

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“How long can you be with someone and still want them?” That was the question racing around Annette’s head as she looked at her husband, Mark, of twenty years, the father of her two children. They had gotten married shortly after turning 20 and had grown up together as high school sweethearts.

Both their sons had headed off to college in the last couple of years, and at first, Annette had been certain it would be a chance for the two of them to give themselves over to some of the passion that she knew they had been stemming since the boys had come along. She was hoping they would fall back into bed, back in love, like it was nothing.

 

Inside, Annette didn’t feel like she was about to turn 40. She had kept herself fit and lively while the boys were growing up, but she wondered if her husband felt the same way. But the raw passion they’d shared in their twenties wasn’t as forthcoming now that they’d lived through so many life stages together, and now they started to feel the emptiness in their house encroaching upon them. The necessities of being a wife and mother had kept Annette from feeling as though she had much to offer sexually.

She found herself looking at her husband anew, wondering who was this man with whom she’d shared the better part of her life with, but at the same time, had grown to be an emotional stranger, withholding parts of himself that she knew had to still be inside him – parts that longed to experience passion and adventure with their newfound freedom.

Annette noticed the peppered grey hairs sprinked throughout his hair, and for the first time, she realized just how sexy it was. The crease of his smile as he asked how her day was – it was familiar yet charming, a sign of a man with years of experience under his belt.

With so much loneliness and uncertainty about this new chapter, Annette decided to seek comfort in her best friend, Elena. Elena was the kind of friend who always walked the line. And truthfully, Annette had wished for years that she had the kind of raw courage that Elena made look so easy. When Annette told her how much her sex life with Mark had deteriorated over the last 5 years, Elena grinned at her as though she’d been waiting for this opening for as long as she could remember.

“Here,” Elena pushed a discreet card with a phone number on it across the table towards Annette. “This’ll help, trust me.”

Annette sat puzzled, “What is it? Couples counselling?”

“Sort of, we had a similar problem, Mac and I, and this…this was the best way we found to address it.”

She shrugged, took the card, and stuck it in her purse, but on her way home, she figured out what the number was for. A swingers club. And suddenly she got a flutter in her stomach.  

When Annette got home, she confided in Mark about how badly she wanted to break the routine and she didn’t know what they could do to make it better…except for one recommendation she found through a friend. She pulled out the card and handed it to Mark.

“You’ve got to be kidding me,” he said. “No way we can do something like that.” Annette was a little discouraged watching him vehemently shaking his head.

And truthfully, at first, part of her agreed with him, but as weeks passed on and their sex life failed to improve, she knew that desperate measures had to be taken to keep what remained of their sex life alive. Mark took some convincing, but eventually he came around.

“Just once, just to see.”

“Just once,” she agreed, and she felt a flutter of excitement as she realized what they were agreeing to.

After figuring out what exactly to wear to a swinger’s club, they nervously headed out together, holding each other’s hands tightly as they got out of the car. Annette was anxious, more anxious than she thought she’d be. She hesitated for a moment outside the door, but Mark pushed it open and strode inside, clearly wanting to get this over with. But when he saw what was waiting for him on the other side, he changed his tune.

“Wow”, she thought as she followed him in. Everywhere they looked, there were people spread out on couches, grinding on each other without a drop of shame. She saw couples making out and fooling around, and a stairway that led up to another floor. Annette watched one couple as they flashed flirty eyes at each other and headed up stairs.

Annette felt drawn to them for reasons she couldn’t put into words, and decided to follow them. She was surprised that Mark seemed happy to go along. Like Annette, he was busy trying to take it all in, take in the sheer weight of the sexy vibes in this place and how much they both wanted to be a part of it.

They followed the couple upstairs and down a hallway, and found them already locked in an intense embrace on a large bed in the center of one of the private rooms. Annette’s eyes widened, and she went to back away – but before she could, the woman spotted her and reached her hand out inviting her to come join them.

The woman glanced between Mark and Annette playfully. And Annette didn’t need telling twice.

What followed was perhaps the most exciting thing Annette and Mark had ever done together. They started slow at first, Annette kissing and touching the other woman while the men watched, but she was soon drawn to the man; she was nervous at the thought of letting him put his hands on her, but Mark gave her a look reassuring her it was okay – that tonight was about adventure and pleasure. Before long, Mark was sitting back and watching as his wife was pleasured by this new couple, both of them using mouths, hands and tongues to stimulate her in any way they could. And seeing her like that, being devoured so sensually by this couple, sparked something in him.

Soon the woman turned toward Mark, and began to undress him as the other man mounted Annette on the bed. Mark couldn’t take his eyes off his wife, how wanted she was, how hot she looked as another man began to fuck her. The woman dipped her head down to take his straining erection into her mouth and began to blow him, her mouth fresh and new on his cock.

Annette glanced over at Mark, and felt a matching swell of lust for this man who she thought she had seen in nearly every light, but the jealousy at watching another woman suck his cock was enough to spark something that had been missing for a long time between them.

Eventually, the strain in his dick was too much for him to take, and he pulled the woman from his cock and lay her down on the bed, spread her legs open, and ate her pussy. She handed him a condom, wanting him to fuck her. He sheathed himself and looked over at his wife, lost in a powerful rush of ecstasy at watching his wife riding this other man. And as Mark began to slide his way inside her for the first time, he reached out to his wife, and curled his finger around hers, letting her know without words, that no matter what happened tonight, it was her he wanted. It was her he wanted now and forever. Annette squeezed his hand, silently replying that after all this time, she knew beyond all certainly that she wanted him, too.

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That’s it for today everyone. Stay tuned for an upcoming episode, where we’ll be talking about the 9 predictors of divorce that allow researchers to tell within a few minutes if a couple is going to make it long-term or not. See you next time!

 

 

Welcome everyone to episode 8 of F*ck Like a Woman, today’s show is our sexy story of the week about one woman’s sexual liberation unexpectedly found through a ménage à trois in Paris.

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Elise was 27 when she flew to Paris for the summer with her friend Mariana. They had both been dying to go for months and finally found the money and time to get away. Both were single girls and loved to roam new cities and discover adventure wherever they landed. After they recovered from jet lag, unpacked, and got settled in for the next week, they looked up all the hot spots that Paris’s nightlife had to offer.

Saturday night was upon them and they were giddy happy to get all glammed up with their sexy high heels, short dresses, and that killer diva look. They took a cab and headed for a popular nightclub in downtown. When they got there, the scene looked promising with tons of people dressed to the 9s and lots of hot guys. The drinks started flowing and they had settled in at a small party’s table, hitting it off with a couple of guys. Both Elise and Mariana were drawn to one guy in particular, Jaque, because he had a certain confidence about him while all his friends were giving off a vibe of desperation. As the night went on, it became clear that both Elise and Mariana wanted Jaque for themselves. Inhibitions gone, they decided that they should both take him back to their hotel room for the night.

They ditched the nightclub, got in a cab, and made it excitedly back up to their room. They broke out a bottle of champagne and went out to the balcony to look at the city lights. Elise and Mariana were nervous, they weren’t sure what was about to happen, but decided they’d flow with the moment wherever it took them. But inside Elise was more excited than she was letting on. What Mariana didn’t know was that Elise had been curious about girls for years and had never had the courage to actually openly hit on a girl. She didn’t consider herself as strictly lesbian because she was definitely attracted to guys, but she was also aroused by certain girls and had watched lesbian porn sometimes. Elise wanted to know what it was like to kiss a girl and touch her soft body. She was curious if it would feel just as divine in real life as it had in her fantasies.

Jaque came up behind Mariana on the balcony and kissed her, he grabbed her hips and pulled them in toward his waist. He moved his hands down her legs and back up her thighs under her dress. He started rubbing her pussy and slid his fingers inside. Elise was watching and getting wet from everything she saw, wanting to partake but also completely captivated watching his ruthlessness. He took Mariana and bent her over in front of him on the balcony rubbing her clit and lifting up her dress completely, then slid down her silky thong past her heels. Elise walked over, grabbed Jaque’s face and pulled him toward her, kissing him fiercely until he let one hand off Mariana and onto Elise’s ass. Mariana turned around to take his hand and Elise’s, and guided them back inside to the bed. Mariana pushed Jaque onto the bed and took Elise’s hand and pulled her onto the bed with them. She leaned into Elise and kissed her deliciously, biting her lip. Mariana pulled down her dress, grabbed Elise’s hands and put them on her breasts, guiding her to squeeze them. Elise touched Mariana’s breasts and stroked her nipples, finally working up the nerve to kiss and suck each one. Jaque watched intently as Mariana pushed Elise down, lifted up her dress, and started kissing her stomach, then her hips, then her thighs, and finally licked her skin just outside her panties. She pulled down Elise’s panties and started licking her pussy softer than she’d ever been licked, putting her fingers deep inside her. Elise was completely turned on and felt like she was going to cum, but she couldn’t quite get there. She didn’t know how to orgasm without a guy so she turned toward Jaque who was totally hard after watching Mariana’s face between Elise’s thighs. She jumped on top straddling him, and fucked him hard. She had been so aroused by what Mariana had done to her that she came in a matter of minutes. Elise climbed off Jaque, lying there exhausted and exhilarated. Then Mariana mounted Jaque. He slid his dick inside, gripping her hips tightly as she grinded back and forth. Her body glided in smooth rotations as she rode him harder and faster, clenching his chest. Finally Jaque erupted in pleasure, but Mariana couldn’t finish, so Jaque flipped her over, bent her over the bed, spread her legs apart and licked her pussy from behind. Mariana gripped the sheets, screaming louder, and came all over Jaque’s mouth.

Elise felt as though she had been a caged animal finally let loose and freed to play in a wild and tantalizing fantasy. That experience with Mariana forever changed her sexual appetite and expanded her desires for more female sex play. She would have never thought that a woman could give her such pleasure, especially surpassing the sexual enjoyment she had felt with men. Elise wondered how she would now navigate this new sexual territory and if it would become problematic in her future relationships with men. Would they judge her moral character for her same-sex play, would they become so aroused by it they would want her to perform it in the bedroom, or would it be seen as a threat to their male sexuality and prowess? And what she discovered was that yes, all of these were true. But more importantly, she realized that no one could lay claim to her sexuality because it was inherently and solely hers. She might be subject to the terms of agreement set forth overtly and covertly in her relationships, but her sexual sovereignty would remain forever hers in her mind and in her desires.

 

That’s it for today guys, next week we’re going to be talking about the communication styles between happy couples and unhappy couples. Stay tuned.

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Thanks for listening to, F*ck Like a Woman. If you have a juicy sex story that you want featured anonymously on the podcast, email it to orgasmicgenius@gmail.com. And if you like this podcast and want to show some love, leave a review on iTunes and make sure to subscribe to the show to stay current on new episodes. For more information, visit fcklikeawoman.com (that’s F-C-K like a woman dot com).

 

 

Welcome everyone to F*ck Like a Woman, episode 6. Today we’re sharing our sexy story of the week inspired by real people and real events that might encourage some playful exploration or ignite some passion to bring back to your lover. This story is about an unexpected attraction between a conservative accountant and a tattooed bartender.

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John closed his laptop and rubbed his temples, the week catching up to him. He was done with today, it was Friday and his friend Andrew was celebrating getting transferred to the sister building in Tulsa. He was supposed to meet them for happy hour, but he was 30 minutes late. He grabbed his things off the desk and clicked off the lights around his corner office. He left there looking forward to the night ahead, John had many good times with Andrew and would be sad to see him go, but he was happy his friend was moving on to bigger and better things. John stepped into the elevator a liberated man ready to unwind from a 60 hour work week. When the doors closed, he loosened his tie and undid his top button. John was strong and handsome, a God-fearing religious man, whose drive and determination brought him to the head of the finance department of a major corporation at the tender age of twenty-nine. With short brown hair and deep blue eyes, John was quite striking. But he would not deter from his goals of having the perfect job and the perfect family. Not only fit in the eyes of the Lord, but in the eyes of his boss – who he hoped to replace one day.

As he pulled up in his Uber to the address, he was taken aback as to why Andrew would choose such a dismal place. It was called “Ryan’s Pub”, and it looked like a dump. He walked inside, and was met with the sounds of glasses clinking and “Dropkick Murphy’s” playing on the jukebox. Catching up with his friends before offering everyone the next round on him, John found his way over to the bar.

Pulling out his wallet to start a tab, he turned his head and saw eyes so green he almost forgot to take a breath. Maze had black hair that fell just past her shoulders and a shirt that barely covered her breasts. She wore a pair of high waisted shorts that showed her ass and complemented the curve of her hips. Her long legs ended in a pair of black combat boots. She was covered in tattoos.  “Hey there, what can I get you?” His eyes shot to the ring protruding from the right side of her pouty red lips; then to the tattoos on her throat and chest before meeting her gaze. She leaned over on the bar, so her breasts were just visible down her cut up Slayer t-shirt. Was this really happening?, he wondered to himself. “Uh (clears throat), I’ll take a whisky neat please” he choked out. She flashed a set of perfect teeth before heading off to grab his drink. He watched her ass as she stepped away. John quickly changed his mind about going home early. When she came back to take his card, she glanced at the name and back at him. Something devious behind her smile made his ears hot. “Nice to meet you, Johnny boy. I’m Maze” she said with a wink and walked away to stow the card and tend to other patrons.

John made his way back to his friends, but kept one eye on her the rest of the night. The place had gotten busy and after a few hours reminiscing about all the good times they’d had with Andrew, it was getting late. Andrew was about to call it a night, but John knew this was his chance to make his way to the bar for some alone time with this mysterious new girl he’d been admiring all night.

Finding an empty bar stool, he noticed the pub had a better feel after some drinks, and he’d grown fond of it. When he looked over, he met again with the green eyes he had gotten lost in just hours before. She was leaning against a cooler looking at him. “Can I get ya another whiskey?” Seeing his glass was empty he opted for another.

When she came back with his drink, he stole a look at the tattoos covering her neck and throat. She had a large moth like creature on her neck and a lamp in the middle of her chest surrounded by intricate designs and details. And he couldn’t help but wonder what it would feel like to have that lip ring between his teeth, to bite and suck on as he teased her. He imagined how it would feel wrapped around his cock.

There was something about Maze; she resembled someone he’d known once before. Suddenly it came to him; it was a girl from college he’d met in art class. She had tattoos and piercings just like Maze that he stared at from the row behind her. He recalled how many hours he spent daydreaming imagining how far they probably traveled down her body. Occasionally he caught a glance at her breasts as she leaned down to get her bag. He’d always wanted to ask her out, but his mother would have beat him with the bible. At the time he was dating the daughter of the organist at his church. His mother had hand-picked her, and she was her idea of perfect in the Lord’s eyes: clean, pristine, and above all, Godly. John remembered yawning through their whole first date. She eventually broke it off with him, but her company was not missed. John was too busy thinking of the girl from art class as he pleasured himself to sleep in his dorm to thoughts of her climbing on top of his desk and shoving her breasts into his face, playfully distracting him from his studies. And now here he was, wishing Maze would do the same.

The sound of pool balls slamming together brought him back from his daydream. As the minutes rolled on, John and Maze found themselves enamored by each other’s company, exchanging interesting details about their lives and finding it amusing how much they actually had in common, yet intrigued by their differences. The melodic tone of her voice made John curious to know what it would sound like as a moan in his ear. He sipped his whiskey feeling the warmth spread throughout his body and wondering how warm she would feel inside of her.

“Well John, I’m glad you guys came in. It’s nice to see some new faces.” When she winked at him with those piercing green eyes, he felt a rush of desire overcome him. He had to keep it cool though; this wasn’t like him. Realizing the pub was about to close, he asked her for her number and was pleased when she grabbed his phone and texted herself, making sure he couldn’t forget her.

John and Maze spent the next few weeks together, meeting up at the pub every afternoon when he got off work, and her stealing any free days she had away from the bar. It was a surprisingly fast pace for John who was always so methodical and career focused, not usually one to let a woman distract him from his career pursuits. But they had actually been taking it slow and didn’t want to rush getting physical because they both felt there was something really special about their connection.

Saturday night, they had plans for a date and both felt the excitement of knowing something more was in store. A whole evening of sexual tension and playful flirting led to a very intense Uber ride home. In the car, Maze looked at John like she was looking into his mind, like she could see he wanted her straddling him, taking in every inch. John needed to collect himself, he couldn’t take his eyes off her bare legs; he wanted to put his hand between her thighs as her dress climbed shorter with every bump in the road. He was completely losing it.

When they reached his apartment and got inside, he tossed his keys on the counter and came up behind her. She let out a loud moan as he gripped her panties through her dress and rubbed until he felt her body moisten over her clothes. He slipped his hand under her dress from behind and beneath her panties, slipping his finger along her wet pussy until he sank his finger inside her. Her body almost went limp, bending forward against the counter in complete surrender. He slipped another finger in, she moaned, then he slipped another finger in and she moaned even louder.

Wanting more of her, John led her down the hall to the shower and undressed her. Maze unzipped him as she kissed down his chest and stomach. Soaking in the steaming hot water, her breasts dripping wet as he pulled her close to his chest. Her pink nipples were hard, waiting for his mouth to suck and bite them. John bit into her supple lips, sucking on her lip ring. Then, Maze took his face and shoved him down on his knees; she wrapped her leg around his neck and shoved his face into her pussy, tightening her grip on his hair. The taste of her sweetness in his mouth was almost enough to cum. He stroked his cock, enveloped by her soft thighs and sexy smell. She grabbed his hair as he licked her clit methodically, knowing just where to kiss and slide his tongue. He felt her grip tighten as he slid his fingers deep inside her tight pussy making her moan. Her sounds made him ravenous. She grabbed his head deeper into her pussy, unable to control her trembling legs, shaking as she came in his mouth. John stood up and turned her around, bending her over against the wall, gripping her waist, as he put a condom on and slid inside. Her pussy was so tight and wet from cuming that he just wanted to lick her all over again. Staring at this amazingly sexy creature in front of him, he wanted to bite her neck and every inch of her seductive tattoos. Her ass bouncing and back glistening as the water dripped off her body. He’d never been with a woman where he felt almost animalistic, so primal and raw. John was weak in the knees. He squeezed her breasts and let out one final climactic moan as he gripped her juicy ass. He leaned into the wall barely holding himself up with his legs slightly twitching from the full body convulsion of his orgasm.  

In the afterglow of that night, John thought to himself that maybe, just maybe, his life could be opened up for new possibilities; that maybe he could loosen the reins just a little bit on his otherwise tightly held lifestyle. He wondered what might lie in store for his future with Maze; what kind of adventures could they have together? What kind of colors could she bring into his life that he hadn’t let himself explore since he was a child. He wondered if maybe he’d found someone with whom he could travel into the unknown, to find more than just life inside the narrow box where he’d been existing for the last 29 years.

 

That’s it for today everyone; stay tuned for the next episode of F*ck Like a Woman. We’ll be discussing how to tell if you’ve lost yourself in your relationship and how to find your way back. This episode is also helpful if you suspect this has happened to your partner. Stay tuned, it’s gonna be good.

Thanks for listening to, F*ck Like a Woman. If you have a juicy sex story that you want featured anonymously on the podcast, email it to orgasmicgenius@gmail.com. And if you like this podcast and want to show some love, leave a review on iTunes and make sure to subscribe to the show to stay current on new episodes. For more information, visit fcklikeawoman.com (that’s F-C-K like a woman dot com).

 


Welcome everyone to F*ck Like a Woman, episode 5. Today we’ll be talking about your sexual brain, specifically something called our sexual accelerators and brakes, which basically determine how and why you get horny as fuck sometimes and other times not so much.

Have you ever wanted an explanation as to why you aren’t as horny as other girls, or maybe in your case, why you’re so much more horny than they are? Or have you ever been so incredibly turned on and really enjoying sex, but you just can’t quite orgasm? Or did you used to have such great sex with your man before your kids came along, but you almost never do now and yet you still really love him?

Well, I came across a very interesting and well researched theory to explain these disturbing phenomena when I was reading Emily Nagoski’s New York Times best seller book, Come As You Are, which I’m adding to my recommended reading list for you all (buy the book here). In the book, Nagoski explains what is called the Dual Control Model for sexual arousal, which was theorized in the 90s by Erick Janssen and John Bancroft at the Kinsey Institute. Okay, let’s skip to the part we actually care about.

The Dual Control Model is one of those concepts that is a game-changer if you want to understand why you do the things that you do, especially if you’re proactive like me and want to live life to the fullest. What you might not have known is that your central nervous system is made up of 2 regulating systems called your sexual accelerator and your sexual brakes, which control how and when you respond to sexual stimuli, so basically they control your sexual response. Not just that, but we’ll discuss how there are individual differences from person to person, which impact how we respond to the sexual world. These 2 systems relate to your mood and your environment a great deal, which complicate things even more. But don’t worry, because, spoiler alert, you just have to figure out how to turn on your accelerator and turn off your brakes, which we’ll talk about today.

As Nagoski explains in her book, Come As You Are, the central nervous system which is made up of your brain and spinal cord possesses a pairing of systems working together that she refers to as the accelerator and brakes. These 2 parts are your sexual excitation system, shortened to SES or ses, and the sexual inhibition system, shortened to SIS or sis.

As you probably imagine, the excitation system or SES, is what accelerates your sexual response and constantly scans your environment all day every day for anything sexually relevant like yummy cologne smells, the sexy way he looks when he’s lifting weights at the gym, the tingly touch of his hand as he plays with your hair, and of course anything else our senses pick up, including our imagination. The inhibition system, or SIS is what what tells you oh, no, don’t even go there! And it’s also scanning for the same environmental information to tell you what’s a threat and unwanted stimuli. Your SIS is like the gremlin on your shoulder giving you reasons not to be aroused. But it serves a purpose because it also prevents you from being turned on during less appropriate scenarios like say, when you’re making that sales pitch to a client. And it also brings everything to a screeching halt if something unwanted happens, like your kids walk in on you fooling around. In the inhibition system there are actually 2 brakes, one has higher intensity and fears higher level concerns like getting pregnant or STDs, whereas the other is less intense and worries more about low level concerns like body image and not being able to orgasm. Emily explains that most people struggling with arousal or desire think that it’s an issue of needing more accelerator, but in fact, it’s that they have too much brake.

Let’s talk arousability. This is simply switching on your accelerator and switching off your brakes. Your arousability depends on how sensitive they are to sexual stimulation, so how much intensity to your accelerator and how little intensity to your brakes. Your SES and SIS are traits that are pretty constant over your lifetime, but don’t worry because the good news is you can change your learned response to sexual stimulation to have more triggers that appeal to your accelerator, and you can also decrease the amount of things that put on your brakes. You can even change how you feel about the things that are currently putting on your brakes. As I mentioned before, every person has different sensitivities like, someone could have high excitation and high inhibition where all they need to do is remove what’s pushing the brakes to have a super great sex life. Or someone could have low excitation and high brakes, which would mean that if you took away all the potential brakes it would still probably take them a while to rev their engine up and get in the mood; 1-4% of women fall here with low desire and interest in sex, making it hard for them to get aroused and especially orgasm. For someone who has high excitation and low brakes, they might have a hard time preventing arousal, which could lead to compulsive sexual behavior; 2-6% of women fall here as highly motivated by sex. But most people, men and women, fall somewhere in the middle of the bell curve. Nagoski reaffirms that all combinations of SIS and SES are completely normal, even the ones on the higher and lower range. Even more interesting is that no matter your accelerator, sensitive brakes are the most accurate predictor of sexual problems of any kind.

If you want to know where you fall on the spectrum, Emily Nagoski has posted the Sexual Temperament Questionnaire on her website that anyone can download. I’ll make sure to put links to her website on the show’s synopsis. Nagoski advises that this is not actual science, but rather an approximation.  

The questionnaire helps you find where you fall in terms of both your brakes and your accelerator, so you’ll have 2 scores for each. Let’s go through some examples of the different combinations of people and where you might find yourself.

In terms of how intense your brakes are, you might be either low, medium, or high.

If you have low intensity brakes, then you’re the kind of person who doesn’t really have a lot holding you back from having sex. You probably aren’t concerned with body image or being in your head too much; you don’t find many reasons why you shouldn’t have sex, and when you’re in the heat of the moment, you’re ALL IN. Sometimes you might find it hard to think of a reason not to have sex so it might be a challenge to keep it in your pants. Nagoski says about 15% of the women she’s asked, fall here.

If you have medium intensity brakes, then you share this trait with about 50% of women. You’re the kind of person who can get horny if the context is right. You’re more likely to be able to let go if you’re in a familiar context where you know your partner and can predict how it’s gonna go down. If you have a new partner or new risky situation, you’re probably going to put on the brakes. And if your mood or stress levels go up, like if you’re anxious or depressed, your interest in sex goes down and so does your ability to focus on it while you’re having it. You basically close your doors for business.

If you have high intensity brakes, then you’re with about 25% of women, Nagoski says. You are closed for business almost all year round. You need lots of trust and familiarity to be turned on. And you really don’t want to feel pressured or rushed, that just makes it worse. You probably have a hard time staying focused on sex. If this is you, Nagoski has a sexy context worksheet that I’ll link to in the show notes.

Let’s move on to the intensity of your accelerator, which will be either low, medium, or high.

If you have a low sensitive accelerator, then you probably don’t get sexually aroused out of the blue. More than likely, you have to be very intentional with how you choose to focus your energy on things that get your wheels turning, in fact, you might identify a little with asexuality. Much like having a highly sensitive brake, you need lots of familiarity in your sexual scenarios, and actually you need higher intensity stimulus to ignite your dulled accelerator. You need to turbo charge your sexual stimuli. Nagoski says these women could benefit from using a vibrator and daily attention put toward your sensual side, kind of like exercising a muscle. If this is you, you’re part of 8% of women.

If you have a medium sensitive accelerator, you fall in with roughly 70% of women. Just like with a medium brake, you’re most likely going to be sexually interested if you have the right context, which is a pretty reasonable fix. But with a medium accelerator, you’d be ready to ride if the romance and eroticism was on point. If not, then sex probably isn’t on your radar at all. These women just need a little fuel and it can pretty easily turn into a bonfire.  You just need to increase how many sexy contextS you put yourself in and then you’re livin the good life!

If you have a highly sensitive accelerator, look out! You might put your silky bathrobe on after a shower and be ready to get frisky! You probably have a highly erotic appreciation for all things naughty, like things that most people would never even associate with sex. And this does NOT make you a slut. You also likely get a lot of satisfaction out of making your partner orgasm because you’re so sensitive to arousal. Let’s hope your partner can appreciate this quality in you. 🙂 You probably have a wide range of scenarios that are sexually interesting to you, and might even use it as a way to de-stress. The only thing is that sometimes this comes along with sexual compulsivity so if it’s become unbalanced and you’re starting to notice you’re regretting some of those decisions you made while in the heat of the moment, then consider other physical alternatives to getting the stress out like working out. Nagoski says about 16% of women fall here with a super sensitive radar for any and all things sexual.

So what does all this mean? If you scored somewhere in the middle, you’re in the same boat as about half the population. If you were in the high or low range, you’re in a much smaller pool so you might be one of those women who has had a harder time relating to others. This is perfectly normal. Now you get to figure out how and what to put more attention on depending on where you are if you find it to be problematic.

So here’s the part where you might be like, ya I could have guessed that. Across the whole population, men have more sensitive accelerators and women have more sensitive brakes, but the interesting thing is that within the male population and within the female population there is much more variation within each group than a difference from men to women. Basically women vary more from each other than they vary from men as a whole, and have a much wider range of responses to questions like, how often would you like to have sex? And the same goes for men. So turns out, we’re more similar with men than we might have thought.

Interestingly enough, 10-20% of men and women experience more sexual interest when they’re depressed or anxious. In this scenario, the man has a less sensitive brake and the woman has a more sensitive accelerator. Which, the fact that someone is more interested in sex during stressful times, implies that these 2 systems are very much impacted by other motivations systems in the brain, like stress response. So your mood and anxiety levels have a lot more to do with your arousability than whether you’re a man or woman.

Okay so now we get to my favorite part, what turns you on? I’m about to blow your mind with the most interesting part about this whole topic: almost nothing is innately sexually arousing. Yup, isn’t that crazy?  

People aren’t born knowing what’s sexy. Your brain has to figure out what are sexually relevant stimuli versus what are threats. It’s actually a process of learning that information, just like other culturally-specific information, like learning a language or developing an accent. Depending on what environment you’re in as you’re learning, you’re going to learn different things with different tastes, different taboos, and different threats. We learn what’s sexually relevant through experience and association. You teach your excitation and inhibition systems what you like and don’t like. This explains why the things that we were gross and disgusting as little girls and boys are now the things we fantasize about as adults. Or why if you take your sexual tastes at 20 years old and fast forward to age 45, they will be different, probably a little kinkier. Your appetite and tastes evolve as you engage in different sexual activities and through association, or as I call it, cultural osmosis. There are more pieces to this puzzle that explain how our preferences evolve and strengthen, such as what’s going on with our brain chemistry and hormonal cocktails as we click on increasingly taboo porn videos, but it’s a good start.  

There are lots of different theories out there that attempt to explain the differences between the sexual programming between boys and girls. Nagoski’s book explains the one that makes the most sense to her as a sex educator and researcher. In this theory, when a little boy has an erection as a very small child, because there is a physically visible change to his body that he can actually see happening, he attributes the erection to both something in his external environment and the pleasurable feelings that come with it. But because girls don’t have a visible physiological change to look at and make associations to learn what caused it, they look to the social context of their environment to link what caused their arousal. Little girls don’t even know there’s a whole physiological change happening in their genitalia, so when they feel pleasure and arousal they look to the person in their environment to figure out what’s sexually relevant.

Also, as girls start their menstrual cycle, depending on where they are in that cycle, their brain will either be more or be less primed to link the external prompts of potential sexual stimuli to her internal arousal. Because girls have more variation in their hormones than boys whose hormones don’t fluctuate, it usually takes girls longer to learn what’s sexually relevant and when they do, it’s more connected to the social context and they’re more prone to experience a mismatch between what their genitals are doing and their arousal level.

This is all so fascinating to me. Now, you might be wondering, how much can I alter my excitation and inhibition systems? It’s a good question. Evidence suggests there’s very little we can do to change the propensity of your excitation and inhibition systems, but you can change what these systems respond to to a certain degree. This is great news. You can change what your brakes think is threatening and you can also change the amount of threats in your environment. For example, if your sexual brakes think that a well lit room is a threat, you have a couple choices here: you can either retrain your mind to be okay having sex in broad daylight (which might be a little harder to do), or you can minimize the threat itself by just turning off all the lights or having sex by candlelight. Other common threats to your brakes would be things like having your kids sleeping in bed with you, having doors that don’t lock, having thin walls, worrying about STDs or pregnancy, worrying about your sexual reputation if you sleep with this person, struggling with self-esteem and body image, or being really stressed out.

And even better news is that you can apply the same logic to your sexual accelerator! Just increase the sexually relevant stimuli by changing the context to something more conducive to getting you in the mood. To do this thoroughly, you’ll need to sit down with a pen and paper and actually go through both some of your not so good and really good sexual experiences from your past and clearly articulate what was it, specifically, that made it either not good or good. You’re trying to extract the elements from each context that vibed or didn’t vibe with you. I’ll put a link to Nagoski’s worksheets in this episode’s synopsis. And my recommendation for expanding your scope of sexual stimuli is by doing some fun exploration with your partner. Kind of like what you did when you were in high school and fooling around with your boyfriend. You didn’t know where it was going to lead, there was no script to follow, you just tried things and had fun exploring and playing. It was much less outcome driven then and more about playful pleasure.

 

Well, I hope you all learned some good info about your sexual accelerator and sexual brakes that will hopefully help you tweak your sex life and your romantic life in the direction that you want it to be. Remember that almost nothing we find sexually appealing was innate in us at birth, we had to learn those things. So the good news is that even though we don’t know enough yet on how to change our excitation and inhibition systems themselves, we do know that we can affect how much sexual stimuli we bring forth into our lives and that with deliberate and focused attention, we even have the potential to change how we respond to our environment to neutralize threats and transform non-sexual stimuli into sexual stimuli with mental programming. Pretty amazing, right?

Well, this wraps up today’s show. Stay tuned for the next episode of F*ck Like a Woman, featuring our sexy story of the week about an unexpected attraction between a conservative accountant and a tattooed bartender.

Thanks for listening to, F*ck Like a Woman. If you have a juicy sex story that you want featured anonymously on the podcast, email it to orgasmicgenius@gmail.com. And if you like this podcast and want to show some love, leave a review on iTunes and make sure to subscribe to the show to stay current on new episodes. For more information, visit fcklikeawoman.com (that’s F-C-K like a woman dot com).

 

 

Welcome everyone to F*ck Like a Woman, episode 4. On today’s show, we’re sharing our sexy story of the week inspired by real people and real events that might encourage some playful exploration or ignite some passion to bring back to your lover. This story is about an alpha male who found pleasure in surrendering to a dominatrix.

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As soon as Nathan laid eyes on her at the business dinner, he knew there was something different about her. Amelie was the CEO of an up and coming marketing firm and had been Nathan’s top pick at strategizing how to take his IT company to the next level. As she walked through the restaurant doors, it wasn’t just the way she looked: her dark hair pulled back into a ponytail on top of her head, her blue eyes matching the sparkle of genuine diamonds in her ears. He had seen plenty of women who could dress up like that and look sweet enough. It was the way Amelie met his gaze steadily, not pulling her eyes away from his, not deferring away like so many other women did. It was the way her hips swayed back and forth with such confidence, such certainty. And in that moment, Nathan knew he wanted her.

“Nathan, right?” Her eyes piercing through his. The sound of his name on her lips seemed as though it had been created just to reside inside her mouth, sending a shiver down his spine. “That’s right,” he nodded, hearing his voice crack, an unusual reaction for him. “Amelie,” she replied, reaching into her pocket and pulling out a card. She pressed it into his hand as she sat down next to him, letting her fingers linger there for a long moment, as though she, too, felt the rush of electricity from his skin to hers.

An hour into the meeting, their chemistry was heightening and nearly palpable, but it was getting late and Nathan had promised to meet a client downtown for drinks.

As they gathered their things and walked outside into the crisp winter air, Nathan tried to curb his interest in her by reaching for a handshake. She placed her hand slowly in his, grinning deviously. “Call me,” she told him, letting her gaze flick down to his lips for a moment before she turned on her high heels and walked away into the darkness. He looked down at his pants, wondering if it was obvious he had an erection. Still feeling her gaze burning into him, he knew that he was going to do just as she asked.

This newfound feeling of obedience was unfamiliar to him, completely foreign. Nathan wasn’t used to giving anyone else any kind of control over him. He had run his own IT company for the last nine years, since he had left college, and it had required him to be in charge at every given moment. And he wouldn’t have had it any other way in his professional life. But his personal life? Well, that was still lacking. So he decided that calling Amelie might just be the way to go. He had never dated a woman who ran her own firm before. Maybe it would be the chance of pace that he needed?

Later that week, he dialed her number, and they exchanged some pleasantries before he came right out and admitted that he’d like to ask her out, but he wasn’t sure how she felt about mixing business with pleasure. Amelie didn’t play coy like so many of his other dates, and she seemed straight to the point, blunt, almost. Her certainty pierced through the phone, confident that their interest in each other would stay separate from their business relationship. So on that note, he invited her to his place for dinner that weekend, and she agreed, sounding pleased by his straightforwardness. “You’ll cook for me?” She asked, though it sounded more like an order than a question. The firmness in her voice cracked like a whip through his system, and he agreed at once.

As soon as she arrived to his loft on Saturday night, he could tell where the night was going; the tension in the room was intense, burning between them as soon as she stepped through the door in her little black dress. He had cooked a full dinner, but as soon as he laid eyes on her, any thought he might have given to eating seemed to slip out of his head just like that. Her mouth curled into a smile as soon as she saw the elaborate meal he’d prepared, seeing that he’d done just as she’d asked.

They broke open a bottle of wine and Nathan walked her around his apartment, showing her the balcony view overlooking the city in his upscale neighborhood. With their glances becoming more and more sexually charged, Amelie moved toward him on the balcony, pressing her body against him, her breasts squeezed into his chest. Moving her hand across the back of his neck, she gripped his hair and pulled his face into hers. She slid her hand between his legs to grip his cock as she kissed him.

“On your knees,” she purred in his ear as she pulled back. He found himself sinking down at once. He didn’t even question it, in fact, he heard himself let out a quiet moan in excited anticipation of what she was going to do to him. Slipping into some blissful place that he had never even known was inside him, Nathan was finally out of control and someone else called the shots. It was surprisingly intoxicating to just surrender.

Amelie pushed his face down onto her shoes, ordering him to take her heels off with his mouth. He had never imagined doing something like that before, but as soon as his mouth found the leather of her heels, he gave in, committed beyond anything else to giving himself over to her, surrendering to her in every way she would let him.

She stroked his head, murmuring “good pet”, as he kissed her legs. He loved her commands. She guided him over to the couch, pulled off his tie, bound his hand behind his back, and pushed his head between her legs to eat her out; the musky sweetness of her pussy filling his mouth – his cock strained in his pants, but she had bound him tight.

“Don’t even think about touching yourself,” she ordered him, clearly not interested in his pleasure where she could focus on her own; he went down on her until his jaw ached and his tongue was raw. He would have kept going all night if she hadn’t pulled his head away and unbuckled his pants. Nathan had never had a woman dominate him. She took his throbbing dick in her hand and stroked it, teasingly slow, drawing a pained groan from his over sensitized form.

She sheathed a condom onto him swiftly, and then lowered herself down on top of him, taking him in deep. In a low voice she warned,“Come before I do, and I’ll punish you,”. She hooked her arms around him and rode him hard. He ached to touch her body, her hips, her breasts, but his hands were still bound behind his back and she was the one calling all the shots – the speed, the depth, the motion of his cock in her pussy. She tipped her head back as she rode him and he drank her in, the sight of this woman, this woman who controlled every part of him – this woman who he wanted to.

And then, she came, grinding herself down on his dick, her eyes burning into his as she let the feeling rush over her. He was so close – but before he had a chance to do the same, she lifted herself off of him, leaving his jaw clenched and his body tensed with the need for her.

“If you think I’m done with you,” she moved behind him, grabbing his bound hands and yanking him to his feet. “You’ve got another thing coming.”

She led him to the bedroom and shoved him onto the bed. This was what Nathan had been waiting for. Someone to restore balance to the tensions of his overly controlled life. Someone to release the mounting pressure of what it meant to be an alpha male in a world where he secretly found pleasure and freedom in domination. Someone like Amelie.

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That’s it for today everyone; stay tuned for the next episode of F*ck Like a Woman. We’ll be talking about your sexual brain, specifically something called our sexual accelerators and brakes, which basically determine how and why you get horny as fuck sometimes and other times not so much. You don’t want to miss it!

Thanks for listening to, F*ck Like a Woman. If you have a juicy sex story that you want featured anonymously on the podcast, email it to orgasmicgenius@gmail.com. And if you like this podcast and want to show some love, leave a review on iTunes and make sure to subscribe to the show to stay current on new episodes. For more information, visit fcklikeawoman.com (that’s F-C-K like a woman dot com).

 

 

Welcome everyone to F*ck Like a Woman, episode 3. Today’s show is all about unlocking your erotic mind and discussing some practical ways that you can stimulate your sexual mind.

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But first, let me ask you a very important question: are you open to stimulating your sexual mind and erotic imagination even after years of being with the same person? If you’re even the slightest bit curious to hear a few ideas on how to get more sexy vibrations flowing through your relationship, I’ve collected some suggestions from both highly intelligent sex educators and respected authors. This is by no means a comprehensive list, but it’s a good start.

Let me preface this by saying that cultivating a strong, elaborate erotic imagination is an art, not a science, and equally important to note is that it is ever-changing. What arouses you today might not arouse you tomorrow. What evoked juicy sex last week may have no effect on your arousal this week. Desire thrives on novelty, uncertainty, and risk. Our brains do this all on their own with or without our conscious direction. My reason for making this point is that in order to let our erotic side flourish and play, it requires a certain amount of creativity to reinvent itself when things get stale, and a willingness to give it space to breath when the rigidity of relationship familiarity becomes stifling.

Lastly, if you’re anything like me, you’ve found yourself at all points of the sexual desire continuum at different chapters of your life and within your relationship. Because there is no one-size-fits-all model for igniting desire and arousal, these ideas are primarily meant to get your erotic wheels turning. Sometimes hearing what worked for someone else gives us inspiration to uncover what might work for us.

Part 1: Open Your Mind to See Sex All Around You

  1. Give yourself permission to masturbate regularly. However you define regularly is totally up to you, but don’t overlook it for very long. Allowing your mind to wander to erotic places is how you keep that world alive inside you. Our erotic imagination is a creative space to dream in whatever wild and virtuous ways we so desire, and no one, not a single person, is entitled to know what you fantasize about. This is a space that is purely yours, it is part of your sexual sovereignty. It’s also very common to wonder if your fantasies are “normal” and what they mean. You might even recognize that you would never dream of actually doing them in real life. Well, that’s the beauty of a fantasy, isn’t it, unless of course, yours involves something illegal. There are several highly respected professionals who have written about sexual fantasies in particular that might give you more insight into your particular fantasies (Michael Bader’s ‘Arousal: The Secret Logic of Fantasies or Esther Perel’s ‘Mating in Captivity) are good books to start with), but remember that each person, situation, and context is layered with complexities so don’t assume the meaning of yours will necessarily be straightforward. The human psyche is intricate and often our erotic desires do not play by the same rules of politics and egalitarianism.
  2. Have you ever given him head just for your own pleasure? It’s pretty fucking hot. I recently read a book called, ‘Slow Sex: The Art and Craft of the Female Orgasm’ by Nicole Daedone. She talks about how incredibly sensual it is when a woman gives her man a blow job just for her own selfish pleasure. This was a concept I had never spent much time thinking about because with as much patriarchy that still exists in our notions about sex, many women usually frame going down on the guy as being about him, not about them, with obligatory undertones.  Many women tend to think of it as giving a service, rather than taking for their own selfish pleasure. Nicole had presented a very powerful paradigm shift. She instructs the women to first make it known that her intention is purely because she wants to enjoy feeling, licking, and sucking for the sake of her own enjoyment. Ladies, you could probably get him hard just by telling him you that’s what you want to do to him. Nicole says the key is going slow and taking the scenic route, you want to really stop and enjoy the shape, texture, flavor, look, and feel of it in your mouth. She encourages you to take notice of what you just did that made him grow, moan, or quiver. He’s your toy to play with. The fun of it is you’ve got him by the balls, literally.
  3. When you’re in the shower, are you thinking about sex? Do you watch the water droplets fall on your naked skin, drip down your breasts and glide down your legs? There is something so exquisitely beautiful about water falling on a naked body. See yourself through your lover’s eyes, and you will feel cherished. If you were going on a first date, how would you groom yourself in the shower? How do you show your body that you care about her? You get to decide what to shave and how much, but I will argue that a silky smooth freshly shaved body part always feels very sensual to the touch. I’d even take it a step farther and suggest caressing that freshly shaved body part in a self-appreciative, seductive way as you put your lotion on to really tap into why women’s silky skin is so pleasurable to our lovers. If that loving caress from your own hand turns into self-pleasure, then give your body what it wants. Indulge your body – she will feel sexy and desirable.
  4. When was the last time you had a really meaningful conversation with your man? I’m not going to repeat the same cliche bit about the importance of fostering more intimacy with your man, because for many committed couples having more intimacy actually undermines their sexual desire for their current partner (look up the “intimacy-desire paradox” and many of you will probably have a light bulb moment!). Instead, what I like most about meaningful conversations with my partner is peering into his mind to see what interesting perspectives and insights he’s had on life. Sometimes I’m pleasantly surprised to remember that I don’t know everything about him, that he is still mysterious and unknown. These types of conversations help us to see that we can always uncover new ground within our partner, and sometimes it’s not what we expected. The truth is we will never really know our partner. When we make an intentional effort to set aside time specifically designated for peering inside their mind and heart, we are reminded that they are their own unique person with thoughts and feelings different from ours. The longer we are with someone, the more we think we know them. But in fact, a wise coach recently told me, that you only know the version of your partner that they are being for you. In other words, you really have no idea what the rest of that iceberg contains. This is a fact, verified by the simple truth that as human beings we evolve and change all the time, every minute of every day. For this reason, don’t assume that just because your partner told you their opinions about something a year ago, that they still feel the same way, especially when it concerns their wants, needs, and expectations involving your relationship. For some people, that might trigger panic and fear, but look at the other side of the coin, it means that your partner and your relationship hold the promise of possibility and discovery – and isn’t that one of the key ingredients that makes a new relationship so appealing, exciting, and daydream-worthy?

Part 2: Put Yourself in His Shoes

  1. Ask yourself: if I were him, would I want to unwrap me? Think about if you were going out on a date with yourself, are you wearing something that invites playful seduction even down to your skimpies? In fact, have you ever let your man buy you clothes?  I recently tried this and it’s loads of fun. You experience the thrill of surrendering to whatever he wants to see on your body. You don’t get to judge, you don’t get to nitpick – your only job is to put it on and strut your shit out of the dressing room and wait for his eyes to cast the vote. It’s fun not only because you’re totally stepping out of your element and fashion routine, but you get to see him eyeball you from a whole new angle and learn what clothing pieces light him up. But don’t stop there, stay wrapped up in your package after you get home – men like the additional thrill of taking off what you had on for the night. You’re a package they’ve been waiting to unwrap the whole night; don’t deflate their balloon by undressing yourself. One last note on this point is to think about substituting some scrubbish pajamas with something a few degrees cuter for at least 3 or 4 nights of the week. And if you’re like me, you want to see him in some sexier clothes around the house, too, so either buy him some or tactfully drop some flirty hints about what he looks hot in.
  2. Depressurize the sexual initiation and invitation. A couple of things come to mind when I say this: one – his initiation to have sex when you’re not in the mood, and two – the invitation he extends that lacks sexual excitement. We all know there are plenty of times that he initiates when we’re not interested, but how you respond and with what tone makes all the difference. Instead of saying, “I don’t really feel like it,” you could flirt back and say, “not right now, but we definitely will later” so he knows you’re interested, but now isn’t a good time. The key is to imply there is going to be a later. Then there are the other times when he initiates, but his technique does nothing for you sexually – maybe there’s not enough anticipation or buildup to sufficiently intrigue you. If that’s the case, when he says something like, “do you want to have sex tonight?”, you could playfully say something like, “convince me,” which communicates you are open to it, but you need him to entice you. And don’t forget about the ways that you initiate. Many times you can initiate without an overt invitation. One great way you could initiate is to say, “want to give me a massage?” and he reads that as, “I get to put my hands on her naked body, which might lead to sex”. I recommend discussing with him what the easiest ways are to get you in the mood, and what are your favorite lead-ins to sex. When you ask for a massage, make it easy for him to read your signals by either blatantly getting naked or wearing a short night dress with no underwear on. It’s a win-win: he gets a great view while knowing where it will lead, and you get a rub-down with a happy ending.
  3. Are your texts to him still flirty? Has the flirty nature of your messaging eroded into boring, committed talk about the basic facts of life? There are some major differences in how we communicate now versus in the beginning of our relationship. You can probably admit that there’s more playfulness in our messages to our girlfriends than there is to our partner. Tell your man regularly that he is HOTTTTTT or SEXXXXY versus the less exciting version, ‘you look nice’. Put the playful flirting back in your messaging with some of these suggestions, and don’t be afraid to use the hell out of those emojis and punctuation marks:

Loving Committment      vs       Playfully Flirty

– How’s your day going?                 – Hey babe! How’s your day going? winkey face.PNG

– Be home soon                                – Hey love, be home soon. XOXO kissing

– Let’s go see a movie tonight         – Hey sexy, I want to take you to a movie tonight so I can have you all to myself lips romantic

– Have a good day                            – You looked sexy AF when you left for work this morning, GADAYUM firedevil

 

Part 3: Set the Scene

  1. Eliminate, or at the very least, minimize the activities you do in your bedroom that are not sleeping or fucking. The better you can train your brain to associate sexual pleasure with being in the bedroom, the less mental obstacles you’ll have when trying to get in the mood. Your intentions for the bedroom should be to experience pleasure or relaxation. If the bedroom is a place where you sleep with your kids, use as a work space, or watch a lot of TV in, then it’s time for a change because you have, in a sense, de-sexified your fuck space. Don’t shoot for perfection here because things will happen, and being too rigid about anything can feel restrictive. If you find your bedroom has become too uncomfortable for sex because of prior bad experiences, take it to the couch, the kitchen, the patio or wherever you find intriguing to get the good energy flowing again.
  2. Do you decorate your bedroom with pictures of your kids, or pictures of romantic vacations and past dates? Look, there is nothing wrong with having pictures of your family and your cuter-than-any-other children in your bedroom, buuuuuut it can change the atmosphere and mood of a room when you have reminders of your non-sexual domestic roles that make it harder for you to momentarily remember that you’re still a sexy seductress who knows how to conjure that freaky side every once in a while. You know what I’m talkin about. Our brains can’t help but put on the breaks when we remember our domestic lives and all the responsibilities that come with it; you might not even realize it’s affecting you. What you do want to remember is that trip, date, or moment where you and your bae were happy and connected romantically. Again, don’t strive for perfection on this one, but at least minimize it.
  3. Is the space clean or does it have clutter, dirty laundry, or children’s toys? A clear space is a sexy space. The bedroom is a space where you can breathe, relax, and let go. If you have to do a quick pickup, throw those dirty clothes or children’s toys in your closet until you have time to clean up tomorrow.
  4. Do you have adequate privacy? It can be important that you have a door that fully locks and windows that close so that you can really let go mentally, thereby letting go physically. Or, if you get a thrill out of the possibility of being exposed, then more power to you, just don’t do it if you have kids in the house!

 

Part 4: Amplify the Sensuality

  1. Do you want to taste delicious? Shower a couple hours before your date with him so that your body’s natural pheromones and juices have plenty of time to marinate before he consumes you. You’ll be the perfect amount of deliciousness when he tastes you – clean yet irresistible.
  2. Do you have orgasm-worthy music? Is it accessible? Is it commercial free? Really good, mood-appropriate music is key to making a lasting sexual memory that will stamp your brain. After having been with the same person for a while, you might consider this a superfluous addition to sex, but this is a great way to up your vibrations. Remember that we’re aiming for quality over quantity, so the details in creating your experience are key. Having a portable stereo that you can take with you to the bathtub or any area of the house is super important. Make sure you’re not listening to music that has annoying commercials that interrupt the heightened mood you just spent precious time creating. I personally love R&B and most things Adam Levine – have you heard his song ‘Lips on You’?? yummy….)
  3. Is your bedroom & bathroom decor sexy? Have you considered how sexually appealing your bedroom and bathroom are? The last thing you want to look at when you’re in the middle of getting licked in the shower or bathtub is an ugly eye sore. Decor that doesn’t add a sexual vibe to the ambiance should be replaced. TJ Maxx, Ross, or Home Goods are always winners for cheap, sexy pieces.
  4. What texture and color palette makes you feel like a sex kitten? Does black, red, hot pink, or just plain nude make you feel most playful? Find the perfect texture for your sheets: soft, silky, smooth – you decide what feels most sensual. Basically are they something you would want to touch with your naked body, or a color you associate with sex? You get to decide.
  1. Are you using an aroma in your sex play? Scent coupled with a heightened experience is incredibly powerful at imprinting a memory. You are literally making your mark on your lover – they will think of you and sex whenever they smell it. Scents enhance how luxurious and pleasurable the experience is as a whole. It’s all about the details, people!!

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Lastly, I want to hear how you have found sexiness in overlooked places and what has helped you to cultivate more sexiness in your daily lives. If any of these ideas helped or inspired you, let me know in the comments section. I’d love to hear from you!!

Stay tuned for the next episode of F*ck Like a Woman, featuring our sexy story of the week about an alpha male who found pleasure in surrendering to a dominatrix. You don’t want to miss it!

Thanks for listening to, F*ck Like a Woman. If you have a juicy sex story that you want featured anonymously on the podcast, email it to orgasmicgenius@gmail.com. And if you like this podcast and want to show some love, leave a review on iTunes and make sure to subscribe to the show to stay current on new episodes. For more information, visit fcklikeawoman.com (that’s F-C-K like a woman dot com).

 

 

Welcome everyone to F*ck Like a Woman, episode 2. On today’s show, we’re sharing our sexy story of the week inspired by real people and real events that might encourage some playful exploration or ignite some passion to bring back to your lover. This story is about the sweet, sweet pleasure that comes from your first orgasm.

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Natalie was 18 when she fell in the love for the first time. It was the kind of love that took her by surprise. As a stunningly beautiful girl with pink, full lips, dark brown hair, and hazel eyes, she expected to wind up with the tall, dark and handsome type. She wasn’t expecting to fall for a boy who looked nothing like her dream guy. Jaxon was short with red hair and freckles, but he had a secret weapon that could charm the pants off even the most beautiful girls – his sense of humor. It was the kind of humor that caught girls off guard and made them feel like a child inside, an almost addictive humor that kept them coming back for more. Jaxon sang in the school choir and even though he wasn’t conventionally attractive, he had the smoothest tenor voice Natalie had ever heard. She had seen Jaxon around school, but the first day she met him was 2nd semester of senior year. He had sheepishly made his way next to her after class and somehow found a way into her conversation with some friends. Natalie remembered thinking that day how much she couldn’t get him out of her mind, there was something about him that stuck with her.

A few months later after having spent some time together in mutual circles, Natalie and Jaxon went on their first date. It was raining heavily when he came to pick her up, so her mom told him to bring her home early. Knowing that their time together was limited made every minute that much more precious. They drove around looking at Christmas lights before heading to the movie theatre, laughing til their stomachs hurt. She had the most amazing time with him and knew he was special. At the end of the night, Jaxon parked his car in front of her house to kiss her goodnight. He leaned in and pressed his soft lips against hers. They melted into her skin, dissolving into a wet, bite of deliciousness. His tongue slipped inside her mouth and moved rhythmically with hers, a tango of teasing and pleasure. Her entire body was pulsating and moist, wanting more.

The first time Natalie visited Jaxon at his parent’s house a week later, she was nervous and excited, reminiscing about the last time he touched her. She was a fairly shy and timid girl who had lived vicariously through her sexually active best friend, but had no idea what she was doing in bed and certainly didn’t seek out those experiences with guys. After a playful and flirty greeting, they cuddled up in his bed together to watch a movie and soon their hands began to roam. He kissed her neck as his fingertips grazed her bare legs, slowly moving his hand up her silky thighs. She felt a rush of sensation the closer his fingers moved upward between her legs until she gasped when they landed on her lips under her clothes. He slowly and patiently caressed her lips ever so lightly, up and down, again and again, until she was almost dripping wet. Slowly, he slipped his middle finger under her panties and gently onto her clit, stroking it delicately, gradually pressing firmer with each of her moans. Her hips started rocking back and forth to his rhythm, begging him to go inside and feel her. He could feel her clit swelling and her juices overflowing. Gently and slowly, he slid his hand down until his middle finger was inside her, keeping his palm pressed firmly on top of her clit. Moving his finger in a come-hither motion inside of her, and rubbing his hand up and down her pussy, Natalie felt like she was going to burst. Her body had never felt so alive in all her life. For the first time, she experienced the most sumptuous, uncontrollable orgasm. Caught off guard by her excited scream, Jaxon quickly covered her mouth with his hand so his parents couldn’t hear her.

Blissed out, Natalie melted into a state of sexual euphoria. She felt amazing. Natalie had never felt this open and connected with anyone. Wanting to share the pleasure Jaxon had given her, she turned toward him and kissed him passionately. Her hand gracefully glided down from his face to his neck, past his chest and stomach, landing at the top of his pants line. Having never touched a guy like this before, she was a little intimidated but decided to explore. She grazed her finger from left to right just below the top of his boxers, letting her fingers stoop lower just inside his hip bone. Every few motions she let her fingers touch his skin just above his dick. With each subsequent motion, Jaxon’s melodic voice sang for more, his dick hardening and tightening his pants. With some hesitancy, she unbuttoned and unzipped him. He let out another moan from the pressure of unzipping him and tore down his pants for her accessibility. Natalie had never actually seen a naked penis in the flesh, but she was mesmerized. His cock was long and thick with a touch of pink at the tip. Unsure of what came next, she took her hand and started stroking it up and down, teasing and playing with him. He took her hand and guided her to follow his pace, increasing her speed as she fondled and massaged him. Jaxon put his hand on her cheek and affectionately pulled her face toward his dick. Timidly, she opened her mouth and enveloped all of him, caressing him slowly then faster, playing with more and less suction as she watched his face react to each sensation. She could feel his cock growing inside her mouth and the rim of his tip getting more pronounced as she kept sucking. Then finally, in one swooping instance, Jaxon exploded in her mouth leaving a sweet and salty aftertaste.

Natalie felt incredible, she had never made a guy orgasm before, let alone given him head. She felt powerful and exuberant, like she had discovered the Achilles heal of guys. She felt like a woman and at the same time completely vulnerable, knowing that if Jaxon bragged to his friends about their hookup, her reputation would be destroyed even though she was still a virgin and had never done anything like this before. Unfortunately for Natalie, this was a double standard between men and women that she now faced, which has existed since the dawn of time. The only person she could share this earth shatteringly awesome experience with was her best friend who was already sexually active, and yet on the other hand Jaxon could become a god in a matter of minutes, especially because Natalie was considered a good girl at school. At 18, she wondered what kind of reputation she would be setting for herself when people inevitably learned they were dating. Would this forever mean that her dream guys would consider themselves above her and out of her reach?  Her mind raced, afraid of what might unfold, and yet she felt safe and warm in Jaxon’s presence. She thought for a long while and decided that the way she felt about Jaxon and how much happier she was with him outweighed everything else. She had been in a few relationships with those “dream guys” before and none of them came close to how Jaxon made her feel inside, and especially because none of them touched and kissed her the way Jaxon did. Natalie will never forget that first time they both climaxed together. It was an initiation of sorts, an entryway into her blossoming sexuality. And Jaxon was the perfect steward to tenderly escort her to climactic bliss.

Natalie and Jaxon’s relationship lasted through the summer when they each parted ways to go to college. Natalie still looks back on that summer with great fondness for the boy who showed her body how it deserved to be handled, with such delicate and sensual care. She will never forget how astutely Jaxon studied her body, each curve and angle, with all her desires and passion. Even though Jaxon wasn’t the man Natalie thought she could fall for, he possessed the kind of endearing charisma and magnetic personality that had irrevocably imprinted on Natalie’s heart. To this day, Jaxon will never know how deeply his love touched Natalie, forever altering how she chose her future partners, and most significantly, how it enriched her sexual development and acceptance of her body as nothing less… than a goddess.  

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That’s it for today everyone; stay tuned for the next episode of F*ck Like a Woman. We’ll be discussing some practical ways that you can stimulate your sexual mind. See you then!

Thanks for listening to, F*ck Like a Woman. If you have a juicy sex story that you want featured anonymously on the podcast, email it to orgasmicgenius@gmail.com. And if you like this podcast and want to show some love, leave a review on iTunes and make sure to subscribe to the show to stay current on new episodes. For more information, visit fcklikeawoman.com (that’s F-C-K like a woman dot com).

 

 

Welcome to the very first episode of F*ck Like a Woman. Today’s episode is all about embracing your sexual curiosity.

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Today’s show is really special because it’s a culmination of all the expertise and experience I’ve gathered on sex and love throughout my 3 decades on this planet. My efforts came out of trying to repair my own romantic life after being on the brink of divorce twice while struggling with conflicting new identities of mother, wife, career woman, and who I was as a single girl before all that happened. And as life tends to do, my darker moments pushed me to dig deep within myself to figure out how I wanted to construct my life, and stop living on autopilot.

Let me rewind a little bit to give you some backstory on what drove me to connect with you. I had a real scarcity of people I could talk to about sex, I live in Texas for crying out loud, specifically honest conversations where I didn’t have to clean up my language or gloss over the fun parts. The limited conversations I did have with people only grew my appetite. But it wasn’t enough for me – I needed more – more perspectives of sexuality and more candid dialogue about what they took away from their experiences. I wanted to know the play by play details of people’s sexual escapades – both within committed relationships and out. Specifically, I wanted women to be less squeamish and embarrassed about their sex lives, especially because for every story out there, there are at least thousands, if not millions, of other people who could relate. And just think: if we could share more and judge less, how much better could we make this world for ourselves and for our daughters?

And then one day I had an idea: I wanted to create a platform where steamy, pleasurable, and even embarrassing sex stories could be told candidly and shared with other curious pleasure-seekers like me – in detail! I wanted a space for smart and thoughtful women with relationship experience to feel comfortable learning from their sexual preferences and to be encouraged and inspired to view themselves in a more compassionate and accepting light. I want women to feel entitled to really live and exist inside their bodies, to feel emboldened to own their own space – both sexually and holistically. This is what I want for you.

To do this, I’m going to share the invaluable guidance and insight I’ve learned from sex educators and relationship experts along with experiences and lessons from my own life. My goal for this podcast is to help other women live better lives by becoming intentional and mindful first for ourselves, and secondly for our partners.

Sex isn’t everything in life, nor should it be. But, the reason we should care about managing our romantic lives is that when we experience trouble in love and sex, a tremendous amount of precious energy is consumed at the hands of worry and anxiety at trying to solve those riddles. If this energy, this extremely valuable resource that has finite limitations in a single day, could be freed up to fuel our greater purpose in life by having at our disposal the collective wisdom of our shared experiences through a platform such as this, then just think how much more could be accomplished in our lives and offered up as our contribution to the world. Our ability to achieve self-actualization is the key to manifesting our greatest potential. Even though it’s just one of the many paths that contribute to self-actualization, our love life usually yields the greatest power to throw us off course and down a road that leads us astray from our truest selves.

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Inspiration for naming the show, F*ck Like a Woman, came from my desire to join the movement to restore our genderized sexual discourse from being so bluntly masculinized and blending in the feminization of sex to create a healthy balance of both masculine and feminine undertones. Did I lose you? To give you an idea of what the hell I’m talking about when I say sex has predominantly been masculinized, sex is usually discussed and thought of in a results-driven, outcome-focused paradigm, which centers primarily on quantifying and strategizing sex. I don’t know about you, but that sure doesn’t sound sexy to me. It’s a very performance-based framework that relies heavily on comparison of oneself to another, and quite frankly, it often leaves us feeling inadequate, defeated, and frustrated. We’ve all seen examples of this framework in real life; things like how many times per week is “normal” to have sex, how to have an orgasm without fail, how to increase your orgasms during sex, how to make her squirt with these erection techniques, how to get an instant hard-on, how to fix your sexless marriage, and on and on… you get the picture. It’s not that there isn’t valuable information to be gained by knowing more methods and techniques, but the problem is that desire and eroticism don’t often play by the rules.

Instead, we’ll be focusing on feminizing our sexual discourse by reframing pleasure and eroticism as an artistic skill that we learn to cultivate, one that is often filled with paradoxes and complexities that sometimes leave us with more questions than answers. Don’t get me wrong, it’s not that I want one framework more than the other, it’s that we need a feminized space to wander and explore before returning back to what is. It wouldn’t make anyone’s life better to have a distortion of femininity to masculinity. This is why it’s about balance; everything is about balance. We should have the ability to see life from each vantage point and have compassion and understanding for all issues facing men and women. But in order to do this, we must bring light to the paradigm that has been left in the shadows, the one that brings context and sensuality to the forefront, the one that lets imagination and fantasy roam free, the one that lets creativity and leisure come out to play.

Sex educators teach that sexual context is one of the most important parts to creating an amazing intimate experience. But when we open up and share about our sexual escapades, we’re almost always missing the WHY – why was this so arousing? Why do you still fantasize about that rendezvous from 5 years ago? To me, the WHY is just as important and intriguing as the erotic details. If arousal starts in the brain, then knowing the WHY gives us insight into what to do more of and how we can elaborate in other contexts to make sex feel just as good, if not better.

Sexual arousal doesn’t happen in a vacuum. What I mean is that even that one-night stand means something, and I’m not talking about just pure pleasure for pleasure’s sake. I’m talking about WHY you chose that partner and not someone else, WHY did you perform those specific positions and acts, WHAT do they say about your preferences? Where did those preferences come from? How much of it was from your upbringing, how much was shaped by your family’s attitudes about sex, how much was learned from the cultural script you were socialized into performing? Most importantly, what does your sex say about you? These are the more interesting questions we should be asking, not just the behavior and technique of sex. I believe that our sex is a text to be read, one that is worth some introspection. Spend some time to look inward to learn about yourself, if not for your sake then for your partner’s sake or your future partner’s sake.

Sex is one of the most, if not the most, intimate spaces of our lives. We’re giving our bodies to another person. Our bodies come with stories – stories about where we’ve been, what we’ve been through, what we value and how we treat ourselves, and stories about how we love ourselves. It’s where all our vulnerabilities come out of hiding, where we can no longer conceal our feelings behind masks and where even the best actors can’t disguise everything. Sex is where we strip down to our most fundamental human needs: our need to be seen, to be heard, and to be validated. If in our sex lives these basic needs to connect are not met, the reverberations of our inadequacies can be felt in nearly every part of our lives – most supremely in our relationships. As author and psychotherapist Esther Perel says, “the quality of our relationships determines the quality of our lives.”

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So how does all this fit in with who I am as your host? As I mentioned earlier, I’m a life coach with a passionate interest in sex and relationship issues who decided to use the information I had learned in repairing my own marriage to turn it into a love and sex podcast for women. I’ve also been married just under 10 years and have a small family. But let me tell you… those 10 years with the same man have taught me innumerable lessons about sex, love, intimacy, and most importantly about myself. To summarize these 10 years together, we’ve survived 2 separations, 2 divorce cancellations, navigating a waning sex life that used to be so hot we spent almost all weekend in bed, the two of us raising a tiny baby together, me managing a team of people while clocking in the overtime at a job I hated, all while sorting through the psychological baggage from my childhood trauma that I’d brought with me into our relationship.

From the outside we had a great life, but in truth I’d settled in so many ways. I had settled for a life I didn’t want. In fact, it repulsed me because I had dug such a deep hole for myself that I didn’t know how to get out of it. As a couple, we had become complacent and cynical. I was judgmental, irritable, chronically stressed, and beyond burnt out at work.  We treated each other worse than we treated strangers and our efforts to keep score were mounting the animosity we felt toward each other. Oh ya, did I mention we were having shitty sex and neither of us was happy about it? I was angry because I had become someone I inherently was not. It was like the joy was sucked out of me. Have you ever been in a chapter of your life and wondered to yourself: how the fuck did I get here? That was me.

The beauty in all my personal evolution was that it made me fight for what I love, which ultimately I realized was life itself. We are all responsible for the choices that we make in this life, and for the energy that we bring to our space. We can alter the reality that we perceive by shifting our mindset toward what is good, what is in alignment with our higher selves, and once we know what we don’t want, we actually know what we do want.

So I left my position as an account manager at the company I had been with for nearly 6 years in pursuit of aligning my personality and skill set with a more fulfilling career, which ultimately led me to life coaching. I love inspiring and motivating people to live a life worth living, to go for what brings joy, purpose, and fulfillment into their souls. What I didn’t predict was that I wanted more, more knowledge, more learning, more opportunities to share information with people – specifically about the topics that I love so much – primarily about sex, intimacy, and relationship issues that I had spent so much time reading and studying about to solve my own problems. And that’s how the podcast came to fruition.

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In my 3 decades on this planet, this is what I’ve come to learn about sex:

Sex is vastly more beautiful and expansive than we usually give it credit for. It is present in all areas of our lives, and is both an energy force pulsating through us and a transcendent medium through which we travel to find new and vibrant parts of ourselves. Sex is not just the sum of all its parts or the expectant outcome of one grand finale. There is a potency to sex that can feel uncomfortable, threatening, and overwhelming, yet on the other hand can be healing, regenerative, and life-giving. It can be exquisite and poetic.

Sex lets us connect with another human being, and not always in the flesh. Sometimes that connection comes in the form of our imagination, a computer screen, over the phone, or through messaging. And it’s nonetheless powerful. The ways in which we continue to find creative ways to seek out this potent force are endless and never ceasing. The method through which we pursue that connection can reveal a good deal about our unique circumstances, motivations, human needs and comfort level. Sometimes asking for or engaging in the kind of sex we truly desire is so frightening that finding it through alternative methods is all the courage we can muster. Sex allows us to be seen, recognized, and acknowledged – even within casual sex. At its root, it makes us feel important – important enough to be chosen by another, to be desired, to be longed for, and to be consumed. Sexual play at its best grants us a sacred experience of really existing inside the body and appreciating its magnificent design.

Most importantly, sex has a lot to do with our self-esteem and how we think and feel about ourselves. It’s a big part of the identity we carry around, whether it’s tucked away as a prize to be won, proudly flaunted as a badge of merit for others to see, or cherished and freely given as a select experience for one who is worthy. Sex says so much about who we are in the present. It is a language all its own, requiring each new partner to learn the physical, biological, and psychological intricacies of the one sharing it, or consequently be lost in the details and left only to pick up the universal gestures that leave much to interpretation. Each body, mind, heart, and desire is different, unique, and complex. Granted, sex has overarching patterns and oftentimes follows a bell curve, but it is also fluid, rebellious, and ever-changing. It moves rhythmically within each moment and its dimensions are constantly expanding and contracting.

It’s easy to judge and immediately jump to conclusions about another person’s character, integrity, and morals when they engage in socially unacceptable sexual behavior within a particular context. Instead of casting judgement, I would like to peruse a myriad of ideas to see what we can learn about the human psyche in order to uncover motivating factors, to discover what alternatives, if any, might allow for a better life experience, and to shed light onto various taboo subjects that are deliberately kept in the dark. Let this not be mistaken for granting permission of all sexual acts under the guise of liberation, but instead be viewed as an exploratory measure to observe and understand what is at the root of its creation and to give careful thought to its labyrinth of complexities.

My interest lies in sharing compelling stories and initiating conversations that would otherwise not be told, and in doing so, giving them room to breathe, an opportunity to exhale, a chance to touch someone else’s heart and open their eyes to the expansive stretching of the universe, and perhaps most therapeutically, to allow their holder a chance to be set free.

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That’s it for today everyone; stay tuned for the next episode of F*ck Like a Woman, featuring our sexy story of the week about a young woman’s first orgasm with her high school sweetheart. You don’t want to miss it!

Thanks for listening to, F*ck Like a Woman. If you have a juicy sex story that you want featured anonymously on the podcast, email it to orgasmicgenius@gmail.com. And if you like this podcast and want to show some love, leave a review on iTunes and make sure to subscribe to the show to stay current on new episodes. For more information, visit fcklikeawoman.com (that’s F-C-K like a woman dot com).